So I'm looking for a job and I've seen a lot of stuff about Equal Employment Opportunity and Affirmative Action. Are you a "Diversity Candidate"? I want to point out the blatant irony of the current situation in America when it comes to employment.
EEO/AA is something that has been implemented to stop (presumably white) employers from discriminating against minorities when they hire. I'm sure the idea is to stop all discrimination based on race but come on... do you really think that there is a company out there somewhere that is actively looking for white people so that they don't get accused of discriminating? So here's the situation.
Company ABC corp gets the memo that they can't be hiring based on race or gender and that they need to prove that they aren't by showing a diverse workforce. If they cant show this they get fines and warnings and get called white power, racist, skinheads. So what do they do?
Mr. Burns: Smithers I'm worried that people are going to think we hire based on race and gender... what can we do to prove that we don't! I don't wanna get fined!
Smithers: Well sir, we need to hire some minorities and make sure that at least 30% of our workforce is something other than white. That way we will for sure be able to show how diverse we are!
Mr. Burns: Excellent idea Smithers. Go out there and make sure that people know we are actively seeking to hire "Diversity candidates".
Smithers: Right away sir! But don't you find it odd that in order to prove to people that we aren't hiring based on race or gender, our plan is... to... hire... based on... race... and gender??
Mr. Burns: Don't think so much Smithers.
Now before you all start calling me a skin head... I know full well that white males still have it better and blah blah blah.... but I just can't help but laugh at the irony of EEO/AA.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
It's BEER in America.
So some of you may have heard of this Mexican beer called Tecate. I haven't tried it but I'm sure it could be good. What I have a problem with is the commercials for this product and the fact that the current ad campaign for Tecate is, in my opinion, irresponsible.
Basically there is this whole series of radio ads where you've got several Mexican Americans at a party or something along those lines and one guy says something to the effect of "Yo, padre, pass me a beer." Then the other guy gets all offended and goes off on the first dude. Why? Because Tecate is NOT beer (beer is spoken as a sneer and with utter contempt), its cerveza. At this point the offending Mexican American says "But beer and cerveza is the same thing! What's the big deal?" The second guy then goes into several examples.
"Would you rather put ketchup on your tacos or salsa."
"Is it the same thing if I tell my wife "I love you" or "Te amo"?
After each example the offending dude will say "No" in a very sullen way that indicates he is ashamed for having made such a grave error and then cheerily ask for a cerveza and be congratulated for having seen the sense of the matter. The party then continues; the uncomfortable situation has been resolved and they can get back to hanging out.
A second radio commercial I heard recently is basically a representative from Tecate talking about the product but every time he utters the word "beer" it is bleeped out because after all... the assumption that this Mexican CERVEZA can be refereed to as beer is apparently insulting.
Now why do I have a problem with this? What the hell are they trying to accomplish here? It's like they are sending a clear message to all Mexican Americans that says. "You need to resist integrating yourselves into American culture. Don't use their "lesser" language for even simple things like alcohol." Whats next? Are Mexican Americans going to start being encouraged to not use other English words? Will a Mexican car company start having commercials that refer to their product as "coche" and imply that it's offensive and on par with treason to call their vehicle a "car".
Since I'm a white guy, all this probably makes me look like a complete fucking racist. That's just how the cookie crumbles for me I suppose. I'll finish by saying this.
Tecate stop your irresponsible ad campaign. All it does is encourage Mexican Americans to resent American culture. You should be encouraging integration, not campaigning against it.
Basically there is this whole series of radio ads where you've got several Mexican Americans at a party or something along those lines and one guy says something to the effect of "Yo, padre, pass me a beer." Then the other guy gets all offended and goes off on the first dude. Why? Because Tecate is NOT beer (beer is spoken as a sneer and with utter contempt), its cerveza. At this point the offending Mexican American says "But beer and cerveza is the same thing! What's the big deal?" The second guy then goes into several examples.
"Would you rather put ketchup on your tacos or salsa."
"Is it the same thing if I tell my wife "I love you" or "Te amo"?
After each example the offending dude will say "No" in a very sullen way that indicates he is ashamed for having made such a grave error and then cheerily ask for a cerveza and be congratulated for having seen the sense of the matter. The party then continues; the uncomfortable situation has been resolved and they can get back to hanging out.
A second radio commercial I heard recently is basically a representative from Tecate talking about the product but every time he utters the word "beer" it is bleeped out because after all... the assumption that this Mexican CERVEZA can be refereed to as beer is apparently insulting.
Now why do I have a problem with this? What the hell are they trying to accomplish here? It's like they are sending a clear message to all Mexican Americans that says. "You need to resist integrating yourselves into American culture. Don't use their "lesser" language for even simple things like alcohol." Whats next? Are Mexican Americans going to start being encouraged to not use other English words? Will a Mexican car company start having commercials that refer to their product as "coche" and imply that it's offensive and on par with treason to call their vehicle a "car".
Since I'm a white guy, all this probably makes me look like a complete fucking racist. That's just how the cookie crumbles for me I suppose. I'll finish by saying this.
Tecate stop your irresponsible ad campaign. All it does is encourage Mexican Americans to resent American culture. You should be encouraging integration, not campaigning against it.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Strippers
I was thinking about what kind of love life strippers have. I mean, does the fact that they are strippers totally "strip" them of any chance at having a meaningful relationship with a caring, decent guy?
What kind of strength would it take to be a guy going out with a stripper. I'm not talking about some stripper you are fucking... I'm talking about falling in love with a stripper and actually trying to pursue a deep, meaningful relationship. How would one deal with the knowledge that every time you kiss her and wave her off to work, shes going to be grinding her near naked body on as many drunk, horny guys as she can?
I'm no pansy, and I like to think of myself as a confident man... but I don't think I could handle doing this. Say of me what you will, but I just cant see myself having the strength of will required to be "OK" with it. I'm going to take a guess and assume that strippers don't usually have normal relationships.
So what kind of relationships do they have? I'm guessing its with guys who probably don't really care about them. Guys who are OK with everything because they are fucking around all the time anyway so don't really care what their girl is doing. It could be with complete masochists, who just lavish in the anguish. Of course I'm sure there are exceptions... super confident guys who just don't care and can be comfortable and even supportive.
I also wonder how many strippers quit their job because they meet someone they really want things to work out with? I'm sure the reality of the situation is a lot different than it is in my mind... just my thoughts.
What kind of strength would it take to be a guy going out with a stripper. I'm not talking about some stripper you are fucking... I'm talking about falling in love with a stripper and actually trying to pursue a deep, meaningful relationship. How would one deal with the knowledge that every time you kiss her and wave her off to work, shes going to be grinding her near naked body on as many drunk, horny guys as she can?
I'm no pansy, and I like to think of myself as a confident man... but I don't think I could handle doing this. Say of me what you will, but I just cant see myself having the strength of will required to be "OK" with it. I'm going to take a guess and assume that strippers don't usually have normal relationships.
So what kind of relationships do they have? I'm guessing its with guys who probably don't really care about them. Guys who are OK with everything because they are fucking around all the time anyway so don't really care what their girl is doing. It could be with complete masochists, who just lavish in the anguish. Of course I'm sure there are exceptions... super confident guys who just don't care and can be comfortable and even supportive.
I also wonder how many strippers quit their job because they meet someone they really want things to work out with? I'm sure the reality of the situation is a lot different than it is in my mind... just my thoughts.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Homeless people can be inefficient
You ever drive by a homeless person and wonder what they are doing holding their sign and standing in a spot that - if you decided to give them money - you have no way of stopping by?
One time I actually stopped across the street from one such homeless guy and walked over to him, gave him a few bucks, and told him to move to a more profitable location where people could actually stop.
I mean at what point did he decide that a freeway exit with no stop signs or lights could possibly get him anything other than a case of carbon monoxide poisoning.... who knows... maybe that's what he wanted.
Secondly, I hate it when they use shitty, dirty, cardboard boxes to write messages out on. Don't you know what CONTRAST is? I cant read your sign buddy... it may as well say, "Don't give my ass any money...". Get something lighter colored... at least locate a clean piece of cardboard and use black pen and big ass thick letters.
Anyway... thats my take.
One time I actually stopped across the street from one such homeless guy and walked over to him, gave him a few bucks, and told him to move to a more profitable location where people could actually stop.
I mean at what point did he decide that a freeway exit with no stop signs or lights could possibly get him anything other than a case of carbon monoxide poisoning.... who knows... maybe that's what he wanted.
Secondly, I hate it when they use shitty, dirty, cardboard boxes to write messages out on. Don't you know what CONTRAST is? I cant read your sign buddy... it may as well say, "Don't give my ass any money...". Get something lighter colored... at least locate a clean piece of cardboard and use black pen and big ass thick letters.
Anyway... thats my take.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Driving in the rain...
It doesn't rain much in Tucson but when it does a few factors are always the same.
1. The entire town smells like wet dog.
2. Everyone bitches endlessly about how nobody but themselves is capable of driving in the rain.
It occurred to me that if every single person you talk to is bitching about someone other than themselves being unable to drive in the rain... where are these shitty drivers at? Why cant just one person I talk to be like "Damn, I hate driving in the rain... I just lose my shit and don't know what to do." I don't bitch about others not being able to drive in the rain so naturally I had the sudden fear that maybe I was one of those sons of bitches everybody seems so pissed at. I decided to pay close attention to my driving habits when driving in rainy conditions. This is what I discovered.
1. I tend to give myself larger breaking distance than normal.
2. I tend to drive the actual speed limit rather than the obligatory 5mph above it.
3. I tend to take corners just a little slower to avoid any potential slippage.
So yes, I'm one of the assholes. It turns out that "knowing how to drive in the rain" actually more accurately means "knowing how to not give two shits that it's raining".
So whenever you see a wreck on the side of a rainy Tucson road... just rest assured... that guy knew exactly how to drive in the rain and has hence proven it.
1. The entire town smells like wet dog.
2. Everyone bitches endlessly about how nobody but themselves is capable of driving in the rain.
It occurred to me that if every single person you talk to is bitching about someone other than themselves being unable to drive in the rain... where are these shitty drivers at? Why cant just one person I talk to be like "Damn, I hate driving in the rain... I just lose my shit and don't know what to do." I don't bitch about others not being able to drive in the rain so naturally I had the sudden fear that maybe I was one of those sons of bitches everybody seems so pissed at. I decided to pay close attention to my driving habits when driving in rainy conditions. This is what I discovered.
1. I tend to give myself larger breaking distance than normal.
2. I tend to drive the actual speed limit rather than the obligatory 5mph above it.
3. I tend to take corners just a little slower to avoid any potential slippage.
So yes, I'm one of the assholes. It turns out that "knowing how to drive in the rain" actually more accurately means "knowing how to not give two shits that it's raining".
So whenever you see a wreck on the side of a rainy Tucson road... just rest assured... that guy knew exactly how to drive in the rain and has hence proven it.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Killing time...
So lately Ive been experiencing a new and interesting feeling.
Boredom.
Ive never been one to get bored. I'm a true believer that if you're bored then you're boring and I'm not fucking boring. So whats with the pangs of boredom?
Anyway, what's important is that feeling this way has made me aware of something. We all have interesting ways to kill the time between the shit we don't want to do and the shit we cant wait to do. Ive started to look at and size up various activities and assign them a new value.
TKP (Time Killing Potential)
Now for some things, this value is going to be very static. Take smoking for instance. Every smoke has a TKP of about 4-5 minutes. Now 5 minutes isn't a lot of time when you're trying to kill lets say... days or weeks. If I wanted to have every smoking related malady by my next birthday I might consider smoking as a primary source of time killing. Now while a voice box does have a certain degree of promise in the form of humorous situations you could get into, I think we can all agree that its generally going to be a bad thing. We're going to need to find activities with much higher TKP if we want to be efficient about this and avoid requiring a large piece of iron to aid in breathing.
A friend of mine has found what just might be the holy grail in this regard. The mini series. Consider something like "Lost" for example. You can get a season of "Lost" from your local Blockbuster and boom, you now have in your hands the ability to obliterate time in hulking increments and the only draw back is the possibility of requiring eye glasses at some later date. Don't like "Lost"? There are tons of different options and all them are proud owners of very high TKP's.
Maybe I'll look into this option, or maybe I'll just stop being a boring bastard.
Boredom.
Ive never been one to get bored. I'm a true believer that if you're bored then you're boring and I'm not fucking boring. So whats with the pangs of boredom?
Anyway, what's important is that feeling this way has made me aware of something. We all have interesting ways to kill the time between the shit we don't want to do and the shit we cant wait to do. Ive started to look at and size up various activities and assign them a new value.
TKP (Time Killing Potential)
Now for some things, this value is going to be very static. Take smoking for instance. Every smoke has a TKP of about 4-5 minutes. Now 5 minutes isn't a lot of time when you're trying to kill lets say... days or weeks. If I wanted to have every smoking related malady by my next birthday I might consider smoking as a primary source of time killing. Now while a voice box does have a certain degree of promise in the form of humorous situations you could get into, I think we can all agree that its generally going to be a bad thing. We're going to need to find activities with much higher TKP if we want to be efficient about this and avoid requiring a large piece of iron to aid in breathing.
A friend of mine has found what just might be the holy grail in this regard. The mini series. Consider something like "Lost" for example. You can get a season of "Lost" from your local Blockbuster and boom, you now have in your hands the ability to obliterate time in hulking increments and the only draw back is the possibility of requiring eye glasses at some later date. Don't like "Lost"? There are tons of different options and all them are proud owners of very high TKP's.
Maybe I'll look into this option, or maybe I'll just stop being a boring bastard.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Machine Guns and Relationships.
It's come to my recent attention that people in relationships can be somewhat loosely compared to people in a war zone getting shot at.
When a solider is on the battlefield for the first time, they find out certain interesting things about themselves. One of these things, I'm sure, is how that person deals with the knowledge that they could, at any moment, suffer intangible amounts of excruciating pain while trying desperately to stop various fluids and other important parts of their anatomy from making its way to the outside world. In my opinion, you pretty much have three ways this can go.
1. The person genuinely doesn't care or get phased by this and, with an impressive display of indifference, treats it in the same manner that someone might treat the possibility of getting into a fatal car accident every time they hop in their car and drive to work. It's simply not worth worrying about. They go home with a chest full of medals or a chest full of metal, nothing in between.
2. The person does care and is phased, but with an impressive display of self control they master this fear and continue to function at a pretty much normal level. They tend to be a little more careful and take less risks due to the fact that they are not quite comfortable with the idea of a screaming death. Shit gets done in an orderly fashion but the results and risk factors involved aren't as high.
3. The person does care, is phased, and, with an impressive display of an utter lack of self control, simply loses their fucking mind and becomes a gibbering wreck. They become that asshole from Saving Private Ryan. They are pretty much useless on the battlefield. They are so preoccupied with fear that they cant concentrate on anything else.
Every relationship has a varying level of emotional and monetary chips being placed on the table by the participants. For those that have gone "all in" for the first time, they are suddenly faced with the realization that, like all other gambles, they could lose. When the results of losing are done being absorbed, they have a choice... Are they going to be someone in category one, two, or three?
When a solider is on the battlefield for the first time, they find out certain interesting things about themselves. One of these things, I'm sure, is how that person deals with the knowledge that they could, at any moment, suffer intangible amounts of excruciating pain while trying desperately to stop various fluids and other important parts of their anatomy from making its way to the outside world. In my opinion, you pretty much have three ways this can go.
1. The person genuinely doesn't care or get phased by this and, with an impressive display of indifference, treats it in the same manner that someone might treat the possibility of getting into a fatal car accident every time they hop in their car and drive to work. It's simply not worth worrying about. They go home with a chest full of medals or a chest full of metal, nothing in between.
2. The person does care and is phased, but with an impressive display of self control they master this fear and continue to function at a pretty much normal level. They tend to be a little more careful and take less risks due to the fact that they are not quite comfortable with the idea of a screaming death. Shit gets done in an orderly fashion but the results and risk factors involved aren't as high.
3. The person does care, is phased, and, with an impressive display of an utter lack of self control, simply loses their fucking mind and becomes a gibbering wreck. They become that asshole from Saving Private Ryan. They are pretty much useless on the battlefield. They are so preoccupied with fear that they cant concentrate on anything else.
Every relationship has a varying level of emotional and monetary chips being placed on the table by the participants. For those that have gone "all in" for the first time, they are suddenly faced with the realization that, like all other gambles, they could lose. When the results of losing are done being absorbed, they have a choice... Are they going to be someone in category one, two, or three?
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